That's what the sign in front of the strip club on the way to work says. Well, today, I'm now allowed to party. I turned 18.

I haven't done anything too special yet today, but one funny things happened first thing this morning. I was asleep in bed when my parents came sneaking into my room with a card. Right as my dad woke me up, my best friend bursts in our house, unannounced and without warning, catching everyone completely by surprise. He runs up to my bed and starts throwing thing down on me.

"Since you're now 18, I got you a Playboy! [drops Playboy on me]. And a pack of cigarettes [drops pack on me]. And here's your card [drops envelope]"

I've been awake for a total of 10 seconds by now, and I'm still trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes. I manage to open the envelope, and the outside reads something like "Cool people never win the lotto [picture of fugly guy holding up giant check]" On the inside it says "You'll never win the lotto". But out of this falls 5 lotto tickets.

Oh, and a condom.

He ends with "I would have bought you a six-pack, but I have to wait 3 more years for that. Anyway, gotta go to work!" then runs out and leaves.

My parents are still standing with their card in their hands. They didn't plan this, but they're glad it happened (since they just got me a card, and nothing else).

Anyway, thought I would announce it.

DataBind() says:

Congrats! I'd buy you a drink but you're about 3000 miles away.

Aesopian says:

Buy one for yourself, for me. ;)

rnewhouse says:

Happy Birthday! Register to vote today.

Dylan says:

Happy Birthday, man. It's a feat these days to make it that far. ;) Seriously, though, congrats. The morning of my 18th wasn't quite that exciting by far. And at least it was your friend throwing all that stuff at you, and not your parents.

DataBind() says:

I can't imagine the lifelong trauma that would be caused by my parents giving me a condom....

dcormier says:


I wouldn't put it past Aesopian's dad to pull something like that, though.

Wirehead says:

Databind() - you are now responsible for the mess I just made on my keyboard, after that last comment.

Congrats, Aesopian - it is somehow eerily significant that my 5th wedding anniversary is June 20th.

DataBind() says:

I followed your directions and bought myself many drinks this weekend, for you.

Damn I'm a nice guy.

Dylia says:

Aesopian, I remember the day you were born! I got a Bumblelion toy out of the deal. Mom and Dad said it was from you, so I somehow convinced my 4 year old self that Mom had a toystore somewhere in her belly that you had stopped at on your way out. It was pretty cool. Tim and Marty picked me up from school to take me to see you for the first time, which was cool too, because I didn't get to see Marty very much. It was an all around cool day... which I find impossible to believe was 18 years ago. I feel old.

Dylia says:

Ps- which friend brought you all of the stuff?

Aesopian says:


Dylia says:

Hee hee, I thought so.

Oh yeah, find your ID so that I can get you your birthday tattoo.

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